Feline Warrior

“Obtain the Diploma or Degree you deserve, based on your current knowledge and life experience”

Why make it up when you don’t have to? That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

I received a great little morsel of spam today - chewy, and with just the proper amount of gristle. MmHmm. Here’s some of what this great spamologist’s web page has to say, with my comments added, of course:

This is the opening paragaph:

“We’ve been helping people since 1957 obtain the recognition they deserve for their life experience. Through established relationships with distinguished non-accredited Universities and Colleges, we can help you too”

Note that it does not end with a period - already I’m turned off. How can I get a real fake degree from people who turn away from punctuation? Next, universities and colleges should not be capitalized. Strike two! And I am giggling at the bit about the “distinguished non-accredited” part. I’m sure that somewhere there’s a distinguished college or university that’s also non-accredited, but I’m not so sure I want a degree from it.

Further down, it says:

“If you’re too busy to sit in a classroom, the fast track provides a Bachelor’s, Master’s or Doctorate that displays to all what you really can do!”

I’d think they’d want Fast Track to be capitalized, since that is, presumably, this outfit’s name. One assumes that these fast track people will provide a piece of paper (albeit a fancy piece of paper) that falsely proclaims the purchaser (aka “student”) has earned a Bachelor’s, Master’s or Doctorate. They’re not actually awarding degrees, are they?! Since I’ve put thousands of hours into my education, I feel a hint of resentment towards anyone who thinks that he or she deserves a degree without putting anything more than some cash into the deal. Pooey on ‘em!

In the signature area (an electronic signature is required to begin processing), it states:

“I understand Fast Track University Degree Program admits students of any race, religion, age, sex, colour handicap, sexual orientation and national or ethnic origin to all the rights and privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the university. it does not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, age, sex, colour handicap, sexual orientation and national or ethnic origin in administrating it’s educational policies, admissions policies, or other university administered programs.”

I’m wondering, of course, what a “colour handicap” might be. “I can’t deal with purple!” “I get all dizzy around blues!” Colour handicap??! And I wonder why these guys are pretending that there’s an actual university, that there are programs, or educational-anythings. And you know how the improper use of the apostrophe irritates me. (”It’s” should be “its.”) Maybe they capitalized unnecessarily in the beginning of the page because they knew they’d be skipping stuff later on, stuff like “It (does not discriminate…).”

The whole page is poorly written. The testimonials appear to be written by one person - one person who cannot write well. There’s no reference to who is behind this thing, no contact information, and no pricing information. Unlike some of the diploma mills, as they’re sometimes called, this one doesn’t even offer class rings! The bastids! I feel cheated, and I’m not even filling out the damn form. (If anyone is up for it, though, please do let me know what happens. You’d have to visit the Fast Track University Diploma page, and I can’t take any responsibility for participants being hounded by evil telephoning idiots. Still, it would be interesting to see how much they charge for a fake degree from a “prestigious non-accredited” university!)

For the record: Just in case this little chat has planted the educational seed in your mind, please check out the following link for information. I think that distance learning is great, and non-traditional education is also grand. Just be careful out there. Here’s a page that offers guidelines when selecting non-traditional education venues.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diploma image from here