Feline Warrior

Here’s another of those forwards that I keep getting. In this one, the man is the one who ends up being pushed into a mold:

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror! Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. “I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday [sic], he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; [sic] the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well Dear, what was it like being six again??” Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size, you fool!”

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

There are so many issues to discuss, which to begin with? Let’s start at the bottom, as that’s where it all really goes bad, IMHO. The moral of the story is really irritating. Men, even when listening will get it wrong. Why is that? Is it because they’re just too stOOpid to get it? Because they’re from Mars and women are from Venus? Is that it?

That last line, the one that suggests to whom one ought to forward this tidbit, is ridiculous. Let’s dissect it, shall we?

On the list of recipients are smart women. Why the women must be smart is beyond me. The story is pretty basic, and even a not particularly smart woman would know that a person referring to clothing size would usually say, I’d like to be a size six… or at least I’d like to be a six…not I’d like to be six… The latter does in fact lead one to believe that the speaker wishes to be the age of six again. (And frankly, it makes more sense as a statement in relation to an upcoming birthday.)

But then that last group who ought to receive this silliness: Men you think can handle it. - that’s about as irritating as it can get. What’s to handle, exactly? That only certain men -strong men? and if so, in what way?- will be able to handle this story? Or only men who can handle the moral of the story (that even when they’re listening, men are gonna get it wrong)? I think that men are used to being told this message. The book to which I referred (the planetary reference) made millions by making the assumption that men and women are so different that we simply do not understand one another.

I am not going to aver that males and females do not reach adulthood without having been taught a great many ways to be separate from one another. Most certainly we are brought up in western culture to believe a great many things about ourselves and each other that taint our communications. However, to assert that a man must be able to handle this story, or at least its moral, is just plain ridiculous.

Add to that slap the notion that presumably the email was forwarded to a woman - that is, that the reader is a female, and so she will be determining which men can handle this horrific truth. If a woman is the recipient of the mail, then she is smart, because the directions clearly state to send it to smart women. So a smart woman is to determine which of the men she knows will be able to handle it. And I ask again, handle what?

It’s just annoying, all of it. A smart woman is not going to buy into the myth that men, even when listening, just don’t get it. And if she’s really smart, she’ll know better than to forward it to anyone else, male or female.

pfft!